Have you ever had a feeling about a person who came into your life that you just don’t trust? You can’t put your finger on it but you hesitate to want to become closer to them? Somehow you just know something before being told that particular thing? Those are all due to intuition. This is not to be confused with fear or anxiety. The feelings are different. Intuition is not fueled by fear. Intuition is that “gut feeling” you feel in a given circumstance. One definition of intuition is the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning”. Fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat”. Anxiety is “the feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome”. Though similar, these three emotions are different. Intuition may cause unease, but it’s more than that; it’s an uneasy calm, so to speak. Intuition comes from a place of calmness, not fear or anxiety.
I didn’t have a lot of guidance when I was growing up. I heard a lot of “do this or don’t do that” with no explanation of why, so, it should come as no surprise that I was not taught what intuition is. I was not taught to trust my intuition or instinct. In fact, many of the things I’ve learned about feelings, emotions, etc. has been on my own, as an adult. I’ve had to learn these things through my own life experiences. It is now something I try to teach and instill in my own children. One experience in particular taught me to follow and trust my “gut”.
When my 3rd child was about 6 months old or so, my husband and I were approached by a family friend to participate in an investment program. On paper this appeared to be a great program. The plan would essentially be our savings for retirement.
As this was a pretty big deal, we did not make a quick decision. We had the program explained to us and we asked many questions along the way. That being said, my husband is a numbers and data guy. He saw all the data on paper and thought it sounded good. He could only see the benefits of the program and couldn’t come up with any negatives. I saw the same presentation, but felt uneasy about it. Yes, it sounded good; I couldn’t see a reason why not to participate in the program. We discussed it and made the decision together to go ahead with the program even though I was still apprehensive; I just couldn’t put my finger on why.
We proceeded to start the refinance process, which took significantly longer than I could remember it taking in the past. The date for closing kept changing. Each time it changed, I would reiterate my concern despite not being able to give a good reason. The day finally came for closing and I still had the feeling. We went through with it anyway.
Within a few months the reasons for my earlier unease became apparent. 1. We hadn’t been able to save anything. 2. Our finances were a mess. 3. Option loans became illegal shortly after we closed on ours. Although this program worked for some people, it did not work for us. About a year later, we refinanced into a traditional loan.
My husband and I talked about the experience multiple times over the months following this experience. We definitely learned some lessons from the experience. For me, I learned to trust my instinct and push a little harder when I get those gut feelings. For him, he learned to listen more, even if I couldn’t give a good reason. In spite of the stress we felt for a little while, things turned out okay in the end.
Pay attention to you how you feel in any given situation. You have that feeling for a reason even if you don’t know what it is in the moment. Don’t disregard your feelings just because you can’t come up with a logical reason. The more you trust and act on your intuition, the more you will recognize it for what it is in the future. Undoubtedly there is something you will learn from leaning into your intuition.
Remember to trust your intuition. It knows the way even when your mind is uncertain. Embrace it. Don’t be afraid of it.